JWoww Tells Jay Leno She Likes To Masturbate To ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

bdisher28:

lol that was so funny

Originally posted on Hollywood Life:

Overshare alert! JWoww and Snooki proved that they are just as wacky as ever in their latest interview with Jay Leno. Read on for all their bizarre comments!

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWoww” Farleyappeared on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno on Jan. 7 and had some rather interesting things to say about alcohol testing strips, sushi, vomiting and masturbating.

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Selfies (pt.1)

 

   People always expect you to know what you want to do for the rest of your life after high school. No matter how long I thought about it I couldn’t figure it out. I thought about it all throughout my last 2 years of high school, I had ideas and decided to go into a hotel management program at the local college that most people from my high school go to after they’ve graduated and I did get accepted. I thought it would be fun and I’d get to go to school with my friends, the only problem is that I was missing my second language credits to graduate and didn’t get them on time. Instead of visiting my dad during the summer like I always did, I decided to stay at my best friend, CS’s house for the summer work at a water park with her and finish my french. I always think, who knew that decision would change my life. Prom was the only graduate occasion I attended since I didn’t actually graduate, but graduations boring anyways right? I went with my best friend CS, since I let my date go with his new girlfriend. Prom was prom, actually it was my 18th birthday. Everyone got drunk, messed around, went home and had a major hangover. My best friend CS and I shared a birthday party together the day after prom which was the worst idea ever but it showed us who our true friends were. Im very into dance music, I wanted to go to this festival so much but hadn’t gotten paid from my job yet and was so desperate to go that I volunteered. I had the best time, I got free tickets for my best friend CT and danced my feet off with her. I then visited my dad for 2 weeks and I’m realizing only now that visiting is how its always meant to be. After I came back I went to a concert with all my close friends and had a great time even though I was sick. Now since I got an iPhone for my birthday, everyone should know that the new obsession on any iphone or android is instagram. I started constantly posting attractive “selfies” of myself and noticed a lot of attention from one guy, who was a friend of a friend. One day in late July he asked for my number and i gave it to him. It wasn’t the biggest deal because I didn’t think much of it because we have talked a few times before. But then we started talking everyday for just over a week and we wanted to hang out, so I went to meet him.

On the drive to meet him, CS’s mom thought I was crazy, having him sleep over, in my bed for the first time we ever hung out and I’ve never even heard his voice and we told each other we’d stay friends no matter what happens. But for some reason I just knew we’d be incredibly comfortable with each other. The first time I saw him was just a relief because CS’s mom made me nervous and seeing him just threw all of that away and I gave him a huge hug. The drive home with him was great, we talked so much and I couldn’t get over the fact that he had the same shoes as me. We got home and I showed him around and then I showed him to my room, I started doing random things like taking things out of my purses and cleaning nothing. I sat beside him on my bed and he was just staring at me… “what?” i said and he just kissed me. I got up and took my shirt off for a massage and he could only see my back but just hearing his reaction made me so excited. Any small thing about him that I normally wouldn’t like about a guy ended up not mattering to me, he made me feel extremely special, he wanted my full attention and when I didn’t give it to him he’d make the cutest little “hmpph” sounds like he was having a baby fit. I was comfortable with being naked around him, he could explore my body and do things I didn’t think people could actually do. I couldn’t get enough of him, I just wanted to breathe him in. We hung out once a week at CS’s, he would sleep over 2 nights. This one time we were messing around and it was getting really intense, he asked if I wanted to have sex, the word no just blurted out of my mouth but I swore I wanted to but I wasn’t ready. I remember the next night I had a sore stomach while we were in the hot tub together, so he helped me up and brought me to bed and gave me gravol and then we went outside to smoke a joint together. We had a blanket around us and just watched the sky and talked, and no word of a lie, and as tacky as this sounds, like a movie a shooting star goes by.I thought “How perfect is this? I could do this forever with you and I’d be okay with it”.Image